Professional piano and raising a family
Hello all,
I wanted to ask for advice on the logistics of pursuing professionalism in the music world and successfully supporting a family. I am a recent dad of a young daughter and happily married to a talented clarinetist. Among the many new challenges of being a young married and a new father, I am also teaching music in public school (unsatisfactorily I might add), juggling life events, and trying to be a professional musician (whatever that means). My wife no longer pursues musical things, in fact she's a wedding planner now. I simply don't have the time to practice like I used to and I'm only able to practice around 90 minutes each day if it works out. Despite that, I have striven to put on two recitals a year for friends, family, and the community but that has only just begun.
So what am I asking exactly? I suppose it is what I can do to further my abilities, reach greater heights, and make more of an impact with music, while also being a great husband and father. I hope and suspect many here have achieved that. I believe I can be more than just a "boring music teacher" (how my HS students see me) or an average piano teacher, in fact my level typically exceeds most average piano teachers I meet, who don't ever perform. What opportunities might I be missing out on? Where can I find more musicians who can inspire and challenge me? How can I achieve more than I currently am?
Thanks!
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Hi Jonathan, thanks for your thoughtful message. I am a young dad of two boys under 2 and I consider myself to be a professional musician. My main income comes from being a church music director and teaching lessons, but I am currently performing regularly (mostly self-promoted) and competing in some competitions. My wife works in campus ministry. Yes, finding time to practice is difficult but doable. On a good day, I can get an average of three hours in. I have found that having children has really helped me to be effective with practicing more than when I was single. I waste less time noodling and mindlessly repeating passages. I often record myself with a particular passage and verbalize out-loud areas for improvement/adjustment. And then I record again on my phone keeping those verbalized objectives in mind. What use to take me a few hours can take me about 10min. And my kids have actually sparked a new sense of creativity and freedom at the instrument.
My wife has supported me in carving out time for annual summer music festivals that allow participants over 25+ (e.g. Vivace music festival is a great one, even though I was one of the older participants). I have also joined adult chamber groups in the city I live in, and I recently formed a informal performance club where my colleagues (from different churches, schools, music clubs, etc.) and I get to share our progress with pieces regularly and receive feedback. I discovered that there are a lot of adult musicians in our position who are hungry for opportunities like this, so maybe consider starting a group like that for starters. I basically try to recreate the conservatory or academic environment without being in school.
I hope this helps a little. I am in solidarity with you as a fellow father! It is totally doable to be a professional musician and a family person.
