How do many of you deal with performance anxiety?
I have a problem staying focused when I play in front of people. even when I play in my own home. I play okay, but I find that I lose my focus because I keep wondering how I sound to those listening to me. I make mistakes that I would never make in practice. Some are mistakes I never made before. How do some of you stay so focused? Is it just because I need more experience playing in front of people or are there other methods you all use?
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said:
I think Peter Golemme did it with barroom playing, if I am not mistakenOn the one hand, it is true that I could walk into a bar/restaurant/cocktail lounge/ right now, without any preparation, and sit down and play all night without a moment's hesitation or the slightest anxiety. But put me on a stage or on a video camera for a Community Concert to play something I've practiced hundreds of times, and I am as much a nervous wreck as anyone on this thread. Also, when I go to make a recording, whether of classical repertoire or of a standard tune that I can toss off effortlessly in a bar, I become very stiff and tense and find it extremely difficult to capture the spontanaeity and relaxation that are necessary for a good performance.
The key difference in these scenarios is that, in a bar or restaurant etc. nobody is really listening very closely. The customers were there for mostly other reasons and I was there to fill in the background. (This was very hard to accept in my younger days, when I saw myself as an "artist" stepping out onto a stage to be the center of attention ; ---many times I had to be told to turn down the intensity and volume because it was interfering with people's dinners or conversations ☹️) .
Even if they did come to listen, the noisy background, could mask a lot of defects in execution, wrong notes, dropped beats or other infelicities. In contrast, on the concert stage, everyone is there for the express purpose of listening, and will be paying close attendtion.
Another factor is HABITUATION. You will inevitably become less anxious about performing the more often you do it. My gig in the Vermont ski lodge really habituated me quickly to this kind of setting, as I had to play 7 nights a week 8 hours a night, for the whole season, with only a few random nights off.
It's difficult to become habituated to playing in a concert setting when you only get to do it a few times a year. It should be done repeatedly within a relatively short time span in order to become habitual. That's one reason I encourage everyone to participate as much as possible in the ToneBase concerts, and it's why I'm excited about the prospect of participating in a Zoom group. These are priceless opportunities to perform for a knowledgeable & friendly audience, with rather low stakes if the performance doesn't go well.
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always happy to read your well written and thoughtful posts 😊 and many things you have written here I find relatable.thank you Priya, that's a really nice thing to say. I often worry that my posts are too long and discursive for readers to tolerate. No one has ever accused me of being too succinct. But I am simply so happy to have this community of musicians here at TB to talk these things over with. There are no other musicians in my family or my immediate circle of friends and co-workers, and, much as I may love them all, conversations like this would have virtually no meaning to them.
I am familiar with all those symptoms you talk about. Sometimes me knees are bouncing so much I can barely hold the pedal down, or they lock up against the underside of the keyboard. That's when I really have to implement some conscious relaxation techniques or else I will be too tightened up to play anything.
I must say that in our community concerts you have projected a very calm demeanor despite the emotional intensity of the music you are playing. So I would say that the increased exposure to performing has served you well, and I hope you are able to find a sympatico group soon.!
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The general feeling I get from reading this thread (especially the latest posts) is that too much effort is spent trying to fight the anxiety. Watch this:
https://youtu.be/cd8jFEMMRlc?si=G0HF88y-QYIGQeZj
The point is, stop being afraid of being afraid!