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For me, criticism is one of the most important tools to improve my musicianship - when coming from someone that is trustworthy and also with the right delivery.
What I mean is, it is very important to establish the people that we value, and trust in our musical lives (could be close friends or our teacher). We should always know and trust that criticism comes from a place of them wanting us to be our best selves.
I would say that any criticism I get is always subject to review. I listen attentively to anyone's comments but don't make any immediate action, or reaction to the new ideas. Rather, I write these ideas down and let them marinate for a few days. After a few days the critiques that are still perplexing or lasting in my mind are the ones I really pay attention to! I might try them out or even let them sit in the back of mind for years! It can sometimes be a long amount of time before a comment truly resonates with me and I allow myself to be patient and not demand that every critique someone makes toward me is met with 100% acceptance. After all it must truly by absorbed and we must "buy into it" in order for our playing to reflect a new idea with honesty and being genuine.
I am always curious what people think, and whether I am ready or not for the criticism, it takes maturity to now immediately react, positive or negative, to other people's thoughts!
I recommend always "sleeping on it". :)
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Wise. What I am hearing from you is that you thoughtfully listen to see what can be used productively. It reminds me of this quote:
“A friend is one to whom one may pour out the contents of one's heart, chaff and grain together, knowing that gentle hands will take and sift it, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness, blow the rest away.”
― Dinah Maria Craik
It is the difference, too, between "responding" and "reacting". Responding with wisdom, maturity, honesty and patience yields positive results. Thank you, Dominic!
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A fellow student and I were discussing this the other day after a lesson with our teacher on a duet we are working on. We have a marvelous teacher who is kind, insightful and encouraging. The other student and I appreciate when she asks, "May I make a suggestion?" Then, there's no negative emotion attached; it's rather an offer of an opportunity to consider another approach so that we can improve. Her suggestions are spot-on, and I to take them seriously because they always lead to an easier way to handle a difficult passage or derive a more "musical" interpretation. When you have a wonderful piano teacher, why not take advantage of their wisdom, experience and desire for you to succeed. I believe all good teaching (piano or otherwise) must include a big dose of compassion.
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There are 2 people in my musical life who comment on my musicianship: my teacher and my husband (carefully ). Everyone else says they like what I play. My teacher's tastes are a little different from mine, but I always listen to her suggestions and try to incorporate them, with varying degrees of success. It always sounds better when I can get the sound she is looking for. My hubby has a good ear, so I swallow my pride and listen to what he has to say. It often makes a lot of sense. I think we can be better musicians when we hear our playing through other's ears.
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Personally, I prefer feedback to criticism. I view feedback as something I can use, whereas criticism is someone sharing with me what they liked or didn't like. Criticism is just an opinion through their own lens or preferences. It often doesn't offer any advice. For example, a critic might say "I find your playing too rigid." That doesn't really help me; it only tells me something about you. On the other hand, a person offering constructive feedback might say "If you focus more on your pedaling and adding some rubato, then your playing will sound more fluid." The "if..then" statement helps me better understand what I need to do to improve.
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I value the criticism that is presented in lessons. Im fortunate to have a teacher committed to my growth. I am however ,relentless in my self criticism ( eg very negative monkey talk) and that often ends up being counter productive. It's a habit I'm trying to be rid of since its clearly not helpful. I'm an adult intermediate level pianist and I started at age 65 as a beginner.